It’s Not Just You: Accessing Mental Health Care as an LGBTQ+ Person in Difficult Times

Melissa Porcello, Samaritans Helpline Operations Coordinator

It’s not just you. If you’re a person who identifies as LGBTQ+, things may feel extra difficult lately. Attacks on LGBTQ+ rights in the political sphere, combined with a range of personal stress factors, can create intense feelings of sadness, fear, and overwhelm. Now, more than ever, members of the LGBTQ+ community need access to quality mental health resources. 

We’ve got you. 

Melissa Porcello is a leader on the Crisis Programs team at Samaritans. In the stories of people who call Samaritans’ 24/7 Helpline and in her own life as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, she’s observed common themes as well as helpful ways that LGBTQ+ people are accessing the strength and support they need to heal and thrive. In this blog post, Melissa shares four important messages for every LGBTQ+ person who may be struggling with mental health. 

#1. You’re not alone, and your feelings are real.

Melissa: If you’re struggling right now, please know that it’s not just you. There are real reasons to feel increased anxiety, fear, or sadness as an LGBTQ+ person right now. (According to the Trevor Project’s national survey, 90% of LGBTQ+ young people say recent anti-LGBTQ+ laws, policies and debates have caused them stress or anxiety.)

First, there are the external threats, including recent changes to legislation and school board policies that undermine or attack LGBTQ+ rights and identities. In addition, you may have experienced bullying, abuse, or discrimination on a more personal level that’s left you feeling othered and isolated. If you’ve been subjected to hurtful messages or rejection by people you love, you may have even internalized negative feelings about your queer identity. These experiences may be exacerbated if you live in an area where you don’t have a supportive community.

All of these pressures can take a real toll on mental health. The most important thing to know is that you aren’t broken or making anything up. You’re having a valid, human response to harmful circumstances. The other thing to know is that other LGBTQ+ people like you have found ways to navigate difficult moments like these. There are things you can do–and support you can find–to improve your mental health going forward. 

#2. We all need connection… and there are ways to find it wherever you are.

Melissa: Human connection is one of the most important factors for improving mental health. When we have a chosen family in our corner–people who make us feel seen, validated, and uplifted–we’re better able to navigate challenging circumstances and recover from poor mental health.

It can feel risky to reach out to your support network when you’re having a hard time, though. And if you grew up without a supportive community or currently live in an area where you don’t encounter many people who share your identity, it can feel even harder to put yourself out there. Still, finding connection is one of the most powerful steps you can take to care for yourself, and there are many, many wonderful people who would welcome a connection with you. 

Here are a few tried-and-true ways to strengthen or create new connections: 

Start with people you already trust. Maybe there’s a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while, or someone at school or work who you sense would be a strong ally or mentor. Take a small step and see if they have time for something low pressure like a walk, video chat, or coffee. 

Look for LGBTQ+ groups in your area. Is there a PFLAG chapter near you? Check out their website for upcoming gatherings. If you are part of a school or college campus, check out the Gay-Straight Alliance, Pride Center, or similar groups. 

Consider joining a support group. LGBTQ+ organizations and mental health providers often run in-person support groups where people with similar experiences and/or challenges can safely talk and find community. These groups can be especially helpful if you’re experiencing significant mental health challenges or recovering from trauma. 

Find an online community. While in-person interaction is most effective, sometimes geography or safety concerns make it easier to find community online. Here are a few vetted online spaces to consider: 

• LGBT Life Center hosts Zoom and in-person meetings for groups with specific shared experiences, like trans feminine individuals or LGBTQ+ survivors of intimate partner violence.
• LGBT National Help Center hosts chatrooms where LGBTQ+ youth can find connection, including a chatroom for trans teens.
• Peer Support Space Inc is a place for people to build a chosen family with shared lived experience. Online details about some groups may be protected for everyone’s safety. When you register virtually, you will gain access to more details about LGBTQ+ events and spaces. 
• SAGEYou connects older members of the LGBTQ+ community through virtual meetups and community workshops.
• Wildflower Alliance hosts peer support groups on Zoom and Discord for people dealing with a range of mental health and trauma concerns with dedicated groups for LGBTQ+ members.

#3. LGBTQ+-friendly health care can make a big difference.

Having a health care provider who understands where you’re coming from can make a world of difference, especially when you’re struggling with poor mental health. You deserve to have providers (therapists, primary care, etc.) who see you, understand your specific health concerns, and can suggest treatments and resources tailored to you. Also, it feels great to talk with a skilled provider who reflects your identity! 

Many large cities and communities have community health clinics (like Fenway Health in Boston and Howard Brown Health in Chicago) that specialize in LGBTQ+ healthcare. These centers are a great starting place if you live near one. 

You can also find a provider through the LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory, where you can search for providers with specialties like endocrinology, trauma-informed care, trans and nonbinary health, and STI prevention and care. Many providers over virtual or telehealth options.

#4. Doing good = feeling good.

When the world feels overwhelming, sometimes the best thing we can do is join the good fight. Getting involved in direct service or advocacy work can be a powerful way to zoom out from our individual concerns–even for a few hours–and make a meaningful contribution where it counts. It’s also a great way to connect with others who share your values, which contributes to better mental health. 

You may already know about groups that are fighting for LGBTQ+ rights in your area. If you don’t, try connecting with your nearest PFLAG chapter, or try one of these national organizations:

• American Civil Liberties Union: Join monthly volunteer action calls and find information and local events focused on protecting LGBTQ+ rights.
• Gay For Good organizes a range of community service actions, like community clean-ups, clothing drives, assembling harm reduction kits, and assisting with elections. Search events by city.
• Human Rights Campaign: Find in-person and virtual volunteer shifts by zip code where you can join the front lines in the fight for LGBTQ+ equality. 

And, of course, there are ways you can get involved in the fight without a specific organizational attachment–e.g., contact your representatives, sign petitions, attend rallies and marches, canvass for LBGTQ+ friendly candidates, attend city council and town hall meetings, donate or fundraise for a cause, join social media campaigns, and help others in your community become more informed about their rights. 

Bonus: After an hour of “doing good,” you will probably feel a lot better yourself.