Navigating Suicide Grief During the Holidays

For many, the holiday season is a time for family, togetherness, and festive celebration. However, it is important to acknowledge that this time of year can also bring sadness, especially for those who have lost a loved one to suicide. This specific type of loss can bring feelings of anger, frustration, and loneliness. However you are feeling, and whether your loss was recent or many years ago, we are here for you. You are not alone. 

Sissi O’Shaughnessy, Senior Director of Suicide Grief Support Services at Samaritans shares five tips that have helped her navigate her own suicide grief around this time of year: 

It is essential to embrace the full spectrum of emotions, from gratitude to grief, like missing our loved ones while also having gratitude for the things we do have. There is heart space for all the feelings to be felt. It is possible to miss our loved ones and also enjoy those who are with us. Connecting with joy does not diminish your loss or sadness. Both things can be true. Awareness of the range of emotions you are feeling can be healing as you honor the sadness of absence and gratitude for the present. 

Speak their names and tell stories about them, as this is how we keep their spirit alive. Focus on who they were and the love they shared. Remembering how they lived (over how they died) can help us feel closer to them and honor their memory with warmth.  

Be your own biggest advocate, recognizing your limits and respecting what you may or may not be ready to handle. Rest when you need to, cry if it comes up. Have confidence to decline invitations that feel overwhelming. Don’t shy away from creating new traditions that align with your current feelings and needs.  

Allow yourself to fully experience your emotions, even the ones that feel most daunting. It’s normal to fear becoming trapped in our feelings, but the healing process requires us to confront and acknowledge them. Allow the anger, sadness, and frustration to be seen and heard.  

There is a community of suicide loss survivors at Samaritans ready to support you. Together, we hold space for one another. Join us to have your pain witnessed with compassion and free from judgment. Suicide grief is different from other types of loss, and speaking with others who understand these difficult emotions can help us move through it. With suicide grief support programs like SafePlace and Survivor to Survivor visits, we can help carry one another through difficult times.  

I want you all to know that my heart is with you as we navigate these next few weeks. These tips have helped me move through my own grief during the holidays, and I hope they may offer you some relief during the difficult moments.  

Sissi O’Shaughnessy is Senior Director of Suicide Grief Support at Samaritans where she oversees SafePlace grief support group meetings, Survivor to Survivor visit, and the launch of a LOSS Team – an effort to connect loss survivors with peer support immediately following a suicide. She is also a suicide loss survivor and the founder of the Mo Foundation, honoring her late husband. Sissi previously worked as a Community Education and Outreach trainer with Samaritans, where she provided workshops to schools and other communities on suicide prevention, including teaching about warning signs, risk factors, and how to best support someone who is struggling with suicidal ideation.