Changing Expectations When You’re Going Back to High School

Amber is a rising high school senior and a volunteer on the Hey Sam textline, providing mental health support to youth 15-24 years old who may be feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or just need someone to talk to without judgment. 

In this blog post, she outlines how her mindset and expectations have changed over the years, and how she learned that she is not alone in feeling stressed or overwhelmed by the challenges that come with being a high school student.

Freshman Year: Reinventing Myself

As I entered my freshman year of high school, I saw an opportunity to reinvent myself. I was determined to morph my introverted, reserved, awkward self into an outgoing social butterfly. High school was going to be different from middle school: new classes, teachers, friends, social gatherings, and an overwhelming amount of school spirit. Right?

Well, my expectations were met for about a month. It was fun in the beginning because everything was unfamiliar and new; it was exhilarating. I met new people who went to middle schools I had never heard of and we bonded over our niches.

Then, the school work started piling up. I felt as if I was drowning in my history textbook and my annotations for my English class, but it seemed like I was the only one struggling. There were kids who were taking the same courses as me who seemed able to maintain a social life, and I was dedicated to becoming one of those kids. 

It’s understandable to feel like you’re the only one struggling to balance your schoolwork and everything else that comes with being a student. But trust me–you’re not alone. I promise your friends and classmates are experiencing the same challenges you are, even if they aren’t showing it. I’d encourage you to talk to your friends, family, or teachers about anything that may be stressing you out, rather than letting those feelings pile up. It’s important to have a support system, and the sooner you can figure that out, the better.

Sophomore Year: Focusing on my Priorities

As sophomore year rolled around, I made a list of my priorities. First, I needed to solidify a friend group. I needed to belong and be associated with a group of girls. I wanted to be supported and not feel alone, especially during big high school events such as Homecoming.

Second, I needed to maintain my grades. My friends told me that the sophomore honors English curriculum was one of the most difficult classes at our school. I knew I was going to have to do everything I could to get an A in that class. I planned to reach out to my teachers if I needed help, because they are a resource to help me succeed. Additionally, I knew it was important to avoid procrastinating. If I started pushing my studies off to the side, it would be difficult to catch up academically and mentally.

Lastly, I needed to sort out my extracurricular activities. I looked into becoming a board member of a club, as I knew colleges would value leadership experience.

It’s easy to feel like you’re behind when you compare yourself to others, but it’s important to give yourself grace and stay confident.

My classmates had been talking about going to the Distributive Education Clubs of America (DECA) state competition, a competition club that allows high school students to immerse themselves in the business field. Although I had no plans of becoming a business major or going into the business field, I couldn’t help but feel like I was behind in the college admissions process. Other kids were winning awards at the regional, state, and national levels, while I had no awards to put on my college application.

It’s easy to feel like you’re behind when you compare yourself to others, but it’s important to give yourself grace and stay confident in your own college path. I remind myself that I chose my extracurriculars–such as cross country and volunteering–with intention, drive, and passion. Consider talking to people who can help you set reasonable expectations and goals.

Junior Year: The Year I Dreaded

When entering my junior year of high school, I worried my AP classes and tests were going to put me on the brink of a mental breakdown. I would have no social life because I was going to be studying and rotting at my desk for the next school year. The popularity I had cared about so much during freshman year didn’t matter anymore. We were all students with an academically rigorous schedule.

Despite dreading this year, I had amazing, supportive friends I could vent to when the coursework or life outside school got hard. It helped to know that we were all going through it together.

You Are Not Alone

I could tell you that you should not be concerned with social and academic expectations, but I know it’s not that easy. I wanted to post pictures with my friend group on Instagram and believed feeling like my life was put together would give me relief for a moment. As I moved up through high school grades, I began to prioritize my grades a lot more, even to an extent where I was burnt out and tired all the time. 

Every school year brings a new set of challenges and expectations, and sometimes it feels like you can’t keep up. However, it is important to know that there is at least one other person who feels exactly how you feel; they just may not be expressing it. It’s harmful and burdensome to keep your emotions and thoughts to yourself, so make an effort to find people who can relate to what you’re going through. The more you talk about it, the more you’ll realize you aren’t alone. 

If you or someone you know is feeling overwhelmed by the expectations of school or college, Hey Sam is here for you. Text 439-726 to get connected with a trained peer under 25 who will provide free, confidential, and nonjudgmental support. Whatever the reason, reach out.